Wizardry in the Rubble: Thoughts on Life’s Toughest Lessons

The dreaded Tower crumbling…

We all feel those moments. The times where it feels like everything is falling apart. The exhaustion, the seemingly endless sea of debris of what our life experience once was.

This process can take a long time to sort through and build up from again. Though, let’s face it, even an hour of times like these can feel like an eternity.

My tarotscope this week (I do one every week) was full of these sorts of energies. Old survival systems, old thought patterns, and old ways of just existing are being turned into rubble. It’s very difficult to have the mental capacity to recognize this is something that needs to happen and it will happen whether we want it to or not.

I thought I got through the Tower when we moved, we got rid of a ton of material items that just were not meant to make the journey with us. But oh no, there seems to be much more to the flavors of life’s upheavals than I thought.

Through my reflections and observations, I’m starting to see (at least for me), there’s more than just physical Tower moments. There are these sorts of processes that happen in the physical (body, material possessions, finances), mental (thought processes, survival techniques, and integration of knowledge), emotional (habits concerning dealing with emotions, processing emotions, and integration of emotions), and spiritual (relationships to religion and spirituality, connections to the cosmos and nature).

Please note that I need to do more research and experimentation on this theory of the different Towers. I’ll expand on these more as I continue my own journey, even if this ends up being not actually useful as a framework. It could be interesting to explore either way.  

I notice some Tower moments in the spiritual realm tend to feel more gentle to me personally. I’m not sure if I’m just less resistant to changing or shifting for my own development than other areas of my being or what. This is something I’ll be tracking and examining moving forward as I could be completely wrong about that and will be smacked in the face with some existence shattering spiritual growth at some point. If it does, that’s okay.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate these Tower moments. They suck. I’m tired, irritable, and just over life in general.

I’m gazing around my own Tower rubble in the physical and mental realms (maybe emotional too) and I am too tired to have answers about this. Which is normal. It’s normal to feel that internal shift and be like ready to just check out for a bit.   

Despite exhaustion, I pick up one metaphorical rock at a time.

I rest but I don’t allow myself to just lie and do nothing for long periods of time. Doing that has never helped me feel rested (unless I’m legitimately really sick, then I do sleep a ton).

 What I do is reflection and internal examination via journaling.

My Magickal Journals (started when I enrolled in the Grey School of Wizardry) have become my touchstones for my personal development. In general, I record my musings, experiments, recipes for random things, personally significant experiences, and really whatever else I feel would lend itself to future me as potentially helpful. I don’t always know why I wrote something specific down until much later when I happen upon the entry and have that “Aha!” moment. Journaling is handy in the moment to remember events, but I feel like the act of using these journals as a form of reflection and lesson learning is just not talked about enough.

Through journaling my thoughts and emotions, I got inspired to start finetuning my tracking for work as well as my natural inclination for routine. What parts of the day are higher energy or better focus? Are there consistently days of the week that have similar themes that I gravitate towards?

Yes, there’s plenty of books, websites, and (I guess) social media infographics that can tell you what each day of the week is energetically themed that I could just use.

But honestly, I love hands on knowledge application. That makes me feel energetic. That fuels my passion.

Instead of lamenting over why the Universe gave me so many lemons and continues to do so, I’m experimenting to see about crafting lemonade that tastes the best to me, so to speak.

The hope is by following my passions, intuition, and learned wisdom I can make a stable, long-term, foundation from which to build my life, wizardry, and art up from even better than I have ever had previously.

Maybe these reflections can help you pick up the first stone of what remains of your own Tower.  

Or at the very least, this is entertaining. I think that would be fine too.