Magickal Journal Volume 02: Grateful Farewell to Writing in it, Grateful Welcome to the Shift to a Tool of Reflection

Yesterday I ended the writing for MJ Volume 02.

This post shall act as both reflection on my journey through that volume as well as a grateful farewell to the writing in it while welcoming it as a new tool of reflection and lessons to be learned going forward.

Volume 02 starts out with an unfinished sketch of the crest presented in the Grimoire for the Apprentice Wizard (Zell, 2004) that I just couldn’t bring myself to complete. That page has haunted me through this whole experience, but I could not understand why I never finished that page until I finished the book.

During the course of my life that this volume holds, my education took a back seat. Became a supporting character rather than a full focus. This volume contains a lot of my struggles to understand myself, habits that weren’t so good for me, and as well as my struggle to accept that I do deserve peace and stability in my home structure.

Things that I thought were safe and constant started to be stripped away. I truly felt like I was descending into the underworld though when I was going through it I tried to fight to avoid that very thing.  I spent a lot of time wondering what was wrong with me. What did I do to deserve all this bad luck? 

Yes, I was being buried but not as a punishment.

I had to descend into the darkness of my life and myself to truly learn what I’m about and what is important to me. There was necessary healing to do for me that was hard to accept at first. I tried to avoid the pain. Avoid the change. I tried to stay in a location that was encouraging my worst impulses as well as keeping me sick.

While being buried and bombarded with things I needed to shift, I tried to keep learning more skills. I did more work with my hands. I spent days sanding my walking stick to a velvet touch while reinforcing it with wood working and repairing knowledge that I was acquiring. I remember working that sandpaper on each section letting the work settle into my bones.

The work on my walking stick slowed me down during a time when I didn’t feel like I had the time to even breathe let alone sand some wood. That repetition and slowness taught me a lot of what would carry me forward through this dark time.

I learned that I could actually choose what to put my focus toward. I previously thought I had to take in all information from every source at all times.  Or that I didn’t have a choice when something terrible comes across my social media feed.

Instead of being more online, I spent more time in the woods. I spent more time in communion with spirits of the land. Got to know some of the local flora and fauna while watching them go through their seasonal cycles.

I eventually started to let go of control over the things that I didn’t have control over anyway.

Though this was extremely difficult with the anxiety being a monster in the background, I made a concerted effort to trust in the Universe’s Divine timing of it all.

I essentially became okay with being buried in the darkness. I let myself rest more often. Sure, things were still terrible in many ways, but I at least made more conscious choices on how I react as well as how I handle my responsibilities than just letting life happen to me however.

There comes a point, in about the last quarter of Volume 02, where I told the Universe what I needed. I needed safety, peace, quiet, nature, and support so I can do the Work that I am meant to do. I sent out that request then went back to focusing on what I could do to make things better in the interim.

Eventually, the opportunity came and I said yes immediately.

I have so much gratitude and joy in my heart for this home. It has everything I asked for, even in terms of requests and desires outside of my initial home request. I’m so grateful to our roommate, for this area being so aligned with my own values, I’m grateful to my spirit helpers, my Holy Guardian Angel, and certainly so grateful to St. Expedite who had a large hand in helping us be in the right places and situations to gather the resources necessary for the move itself.

In this new home, I started to heal. I naturally wake up early and bed early. It’s a wonderful feeling to be able to feel each hour of the day when I had previously disassociated through time for most of my life.

This Volume ends with some Root Chakra work.

What a wonderful way to set up a firm foundation for Magickal Journal Volume 03.

When a Magickal Journal volume is done being written in it doesn’t just go on a shelf to never be opened or read again.

These go from tools of the current moment to tools of deep reflection and lessons that can be learned. It’s a great thing to do that even while you’re working on a volume as you never know when a bit of wisdom from a past entry will come into play. These books become allies to our own development during the creation of them as well as years later when the last page was written on.

Thank you so much, MJ Volume 02. May the lessons you have for me be found when they are needed…

References

Zell, O. (2004). Grimoire for the Apprentice Wizard. Franklin Lakes, NJ: The Career Press, Inc.

Wizardry in the Rubble: Thoughts on Life’s Toughest Lessons

The dreaded Tower crumbling…

We all feel those moments. The times where it feels like everything is falling apart. The exhaustion, the seemingly endless sea of debris of what our life experience once was.

This process can take a long time to sort through and build up from again. Though, let’s face it, even an hour of times like these can feel like an eternity.

My tarotscope this week (I do one every week) was full of these sorts of energies. Old survival systems, old thought patterns, and old ways of just existing are being turned into rubble. It’s very difficult to have the mental capacity to recognize this is something that needs to happen and it will happen whether we want it to or not.

I thought I got through the Tower when we moved, we got rid of a ton of material items that just were not meant to make the journey with us. But oh no, there seems to be much more to the flavors of life’s upheavals than I thought.

Through my reflections and observations, I’m starting to see (at least for me), there’s more than just physical Tower moments. There are these sorts of processes that happen in the physical (body, material possessions, finances), mental (thought processes, survival techniques, and integration of knowledge), emotional (habits concerning dealing with emotions, processing emotions, and integration of emotions), and spiritual (relationships to religion and spirituality, connections to the cosmos and nature).

Please note that I need to do more research and experimentation on this theory of the different Towers. I’ll expand on these more as I continue my own journey, even if this ends up being not actually useful as a framework. It could be interesting to explore either way.  

I notice some Tower moments in the spiritual realm tend to feel more gentle to me personally. I’m not sure if I’m just less resistant to changing or shifting for my own development than other areas of my being or what. This is something I’ll be tracking and examining moving forward as I could be completely wrong about that and will be smacked in the face with some existence shattering spiritual growth at some point. If it does, that’s okay.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate these Tower moments. They suck. I’m tired, irritable, and just over life in general.

I’m gazing around my own Tower rubble in the physical and mental realms (maybe emotional too) and I am too tired to have answers about this. Which is normal. It’s normal to feel that internal shift and be like ready to just check out for a bit.   

Despite exhaustion, I pick up one metaphorical rock at a time.

I rest but I don’t allow myself to just lie and do nothing for long periods of time. Doing that has never helped me feel rested (unless I’m legitimately really sick, then I do sleep a ton).

 What I do is reflection and internal examination via journaling.

My Magickal Journals (started when I enrolled in the Grey School of Wizardry) have become my touchstones for my personal development. In general, I record my musings, experiments, recipes for random things, personally significant experiences, and really whatever else I feel would lend itself to future me as potentially helpful. I don’t always know why I wrote something specific down until much later when I happen upon the entry and have that “Aha!” moment. Journaling is handy in the moment to remember events, but I feel like the act of using these journals as a form of reflection and lesson learning is just not talked about enough.

Through journaling my thoughts and emotions, I got inspired to start finetuning my tracking for work as well as my natural inclination for routine. What parts of the day are higher energy or better focus? Are there consistently days of the week that have similar themes that I gravitate towards?

Yes, there’s plenty of books, websites, and (I guess) social media infographics that can tell you what each day of the week is energetically themed that I could just use.

But honestly, I love hands on knowledge application. That makes me feel energetic. That fuels my passion.

Instead of lamenting over why the Universe gave me so many lemons and continues to do so, I’m experimenting to see about crafting lemonade that tastes the best to me, so to speak.

The hope is by following my passions, intuition, and learned wisdom I can make a stable, long-term, foundation from which to build my life, wizardry, and art up from even better than I have ever had previously.

Maybe these reflections can help you pick up the first stone of what remains of your own Tower.  

Or at the very least, this is entertaining. I think that would be fine too.

Sanctuary Building in Maryland

Good news! The site is back up and running!

Granted, there does need to be some changes made like adding my physical products as well as finally starting to officially offer Tarot, Distance Reiki, and Spellcrafting services in the coming days. All very exciting things!

All of this movement and offerings are only possible because we have moved to a new home which has given us some freedom, peace, and quiet that our previous place severely lacked. I am truly in awe and so incredibly grateful for this opportunity to have the space to truly work my magick for the people in my life and even those I don’t know yet.

This house has not only blessed me with indoor and outdoor space to practice my art and wizardry but also has provided more art surfaces, canvases, paper, frames, and other art supplies than I currently know what to do with. Suffice to say, I’m not planning on doing much in the way of art supply buying in the coming year or more.

I’ve been here a bit over a week now and I have felt my creative muse just blossoming. All I’ve been wanting to do is paint, create, and truly explore what lights my creative flames (even though I still have a lot of cleaning and unpacking to do).

We really are blessed~ I love this new home and this area.

May our Winter Holidays be so full of love and joy this year!

Thank you for waiting for my return!

Wizardly Book Talk – Practical Protection Magick (Ellen Dugan)

My copy of Practical Protection Magick by Ellen Dugan

Welcome to Wizardly Book Talk where I offer you a seat in a comfortable chair to join me in a chat about books that I read. Whether it’s fiction or nonfiction, occult or fantasy, let us dive into these different realms to discover what wisdom awaits!

For our first gathering of the minds, we are chatting about Practical Protection Magick by Ellen Dugan. Grab some tea, friends, as I give you my thoughts on this book of knowledge.

This conversation will avoid overall spoilers as this is a great book that you should take a chance on, especially if you are a beginner of the realm of protection magick. I’m mostly going to be giving my thoughts on tone, how I feel about the content, and give you a general view of the book structure. Very fascinating, I know!

I will admit, this is not the first book I’ve read from Ellen Dugan. Oh no, I have been reading her fiction books for the past couple of years now. I started with the first Legacy of Magic book and have read each release since so I came into this nonfiction book with a fair amount of positive bias. Her voice, familiar and clear, in this book reminds me of chatting with my aunts (they aren’t in the magickal community, as far as I know) about all kinds of random topics while enjoying their presence. I love my aunts, so this is a high compliment from where I’m sitting.

Dugan weaves her own personal gnosis, experiences, and gained wisdom from years of being a practicing witch all through the entire book. It’s very fun to read! Now, while she does have a casual more conversational tone and makes some jokes here and there (I very much appreciate the Buffy the Vampire Slayer quotes!) she does pay adequate seriousness when the subject matter calls for it.

The instructions for the rituals and spellwork are clear and concise. I have even earmarked a few that I want to experiment with in the future which always has me wanting to give a classic witch cackle with glee. Speaking of cackling, I appreciate the conversation about curses and hexing along with some great ideas on how to alleviate these kinds of situations in a rational and practical manner.

My absolute favorite thing is an interesting book structure. Breaking up this book into sections based on the Elements (Earth, Air, Fire, Water) with some great information and ideas about how to utilize and work with these Elements for protection. There are also themed discussions in each of these sections that give inspiration on how to handle some energetic pests and improve your own natural defenses to go along with practical protection magick and warding. After the Elemental sections, there’s additional information and concepts that don’t really fit into those areas that are their own chapters.

There’s even very interesting information about invited and uninvited psychic vampires which I had never even entered my mind over the years. After reading and reflecting some, I too have encountered these sorts of people in the past but now I know what to do and what to keep an eye out for in the future. Very handy dandy indeed!

Another point that intrigued me was Dugan talking about hex signs. I don’t remember encountering this term in the past but something about it is really sticking in my brain. It’s certainly a topic I have taken a note to dive into at some point in the future. There’s something there that could be very beneficial for my own practice. I’m keen to find out!

In the back of the book there’s a little glossary with some terminology there if you aren’t used to these sorts of magickal verbiage which is a nice touch for those new to the Craft. I also adore books with Bibliographies. Gives me more books I’d like to read as I continue my own Wizardly Journey.

Having finished this one, I need to collect more of Ellen Dugan’s nonfiction witchcraft books. Unfortunately, this is the only one of hers (nonfiction) that I have so it will probably be some time before I have another chat about a Dugan book.

Here’s a bit of wisdom I pulled from these very pages: Being a confident badass is never overrated.

Tell me, friends, have you read her books before? What do you think of them?

I do hope you’ve enjoyed taking a small part of your day out to chat about books with this Wizard. I tip my hat to you for being here!

May you be treated how you’ve treated others.

See you next time!

__________________________________

Ellen Dugan’s Official Website

South of Midnight - Thoughts from a Wizard

Image from IGN.com

Happy Monday, everyone! Ready for a new week?

This past weekend I was dealing with some form of exhaustion, so I took some time off to rest, recuperate, and play this game I found on Xbox Game Pass called South of Midnight (Games, 2025).

I wouldn’t really consider this a review but more like some thoughts and a retrospective from one not of the cultures depicted in the game. I’m going to do my best to be thoughtful about my wording as I want to pay proper respects while I process some of my musings having just finished the story of that game.

First of all, as a Wizard, I loved the magick presented in this game. It was fun, action packed and really paid thoughtful homage to mythologies and folklore of the South (I think the Louisiana area perhaps?). It was just so cool overall! A joy to play through, truly.

There are a few things about this game that really had me thinking about, yes magick and energy and how trauma can affect the very land on which we live, but also it is a reminder of what a trauma filled history the United States truly has. This game had a similar effect on me that Rolling Thunder Hear my Cry (Wikipedia, 2025) had on me as a young person. It reminded me that we need to have deep empathy and acknowledge that there still is caste system at play in the modern age that sorts people into groups like rich/poor, white/other that creates unnecessary and cruel barriers if you aren’t in the “right” categories, if that makes sense. Like, yes I have had struggle and trauma in my life, but I can’t deny that I have benefited from privilege attached to my skin color without me even realizing it over the years.

I very much appreciate these stories that people like me need to engage with. It reminds us that, yes, we are all human and all bleed red at the end of the day, but that doesn’t change that there is much pain in our history that has created a system that inherently benefits groups of people more than others off of something that is literally only skin deep to this day. I’m not the right person to speak in depth on this topic nor am I an expert in this arena. Even in my neighborhood where I currently live, I see this difference of treatment played out which is why I take the time out to sit with the people of the area and listen to their life stories. I feel like hearing the truth of history and listening to people really help us with the empathy that I feel is so necessary to live in harmony. Especially nowadays.

There were stories of loss, heartbreak, viewing some harrowing escapes through the spirits in the game, and there were very difficult stories of humans making choices that had far reaching consequences on the area. The idea that areas that have witnessed traumatic or violent events can have the energetic threads there tangled that causes that area to become a feeding ground for more sorrow, pain, and negativity is one that makes a lot of sense to me. I’ve always been sensitive to the energies of places and people so those times where I have visited, and lived in, these scarred areas where abuse, trauma, and violence have taken place over the years I can feel… a weight and/or like there is a layer of grease or tar on my skin. They are very uncomfortable places to be. If you live in one, it’s hard to realize the affect it has had on you until you are away for a time and then return.

In the game, there are these magickal people called Weavers that repair tangles in the Grand Tapestry of the world. The tangles are these places steeped in negativity and trauma. It makes me wonder… are there other folklore or even mythologies where this concept exists? Are there ways, like the Weavers in this game, to repair the wounds left in these places? Or are these places just meant to be eventually abandoned and reclaimed by the Earth? I feel the Earth would eventually recycle that energy back into itself to be made into something else, but that could take a very long time. Are there areas where it never energetically recovers?

In a way, I wonder if the Healers and magickal practitioners or our age can repair these areas. Or is it even our place to do such things? Many thoughts about this. It’s very interesting indeed. As I’m still early in my formal occult education, I don’t have the answers or even know where to start in finding them, but it is very interesting to ponder, nonetheless.

The game is a wonderful reminder of how rich the folklore found around the United States really is. I really need to do some deep dives into Southern Cajun folklore and research the magickal practices and spirits therein someday.

Bottom line is, play South of Midnight.

It’s a great game with a great story. And oh my Gods the music is just phenomenal! Just send shivers through me down to my toes!

And the game is a short one which I’m glad for. I have not wanted to be tied down with an overly long cumbersome game as I have much to do with both work and school.

May you be treated with how you’ve treated others.

See you next time!

References

Games, C. (2025). Compulsion Games South of Midnight. Retrieved from compulsiongames.com: https://compulsiongames.com/games/south-of-midnight/

Wikipedia. (2025, May 29). Rolling Thunder Hear my Cry. Retrieved from wikipedia.com: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roll_of_Thunder,_Hear_My_Cry

School Milestone, Wands, & Other Things

Made it to Level 3 at school!

The journey both of artistry and wizardry has been quite interesting and, in all honesty, they are one in the same now.

I’m currently Level 3 (Year 3 equivalent) at the Grey School of Wizardry majoring in Magickal Practice and minoring in Wizardry. I joined GSW a bit over a year ago though I feel like I’ve been there for years with all of the knowledge gain, skill gain, and overall growth as a person I’ve had.

I know this is like skipping past beginnings of things but honestly, I don’t know how to blog so I’m just writing what’s on my mind. Hopefully over the course of the blog blanks will be filled as I develop and learn more about blogging here.

Currently, I’m in a Magickal Tools class which I really like as I love making things with my hands. The lesson I’m on is making a wand. Now, I have already made wands in the past a few times. The first of which was at the 2024 Summer Conclave where we had an in person wand crafting class that was truly enlightening for me. That has been a consistent thing in my brain: Wizardry feels right. It feels perfectly natural and exciting!

Now, I have (since yesterday) finished the wand for my class and have consecrated it with the instructions from the Grimoire for the Apprentice Wizard by Oberon Zell-Ravenheart as directed by the instructor. I’m really proud of it!

I’ll do a separate blog post about it after I turn in that assignment, and it gets graded. Don’t want anyone thinking I am plagiarizing myself for school by posting a completed school assignment online before I turn it in.

Outside of school, I have been learning about candle crafting and just making things that I think are cool. It’s hard to not just focusing on things that make money, especially considering the economic struggles of the current time, but I found that I can’t make anything if I put too much stress behind it. I’m trying to allow projects to unfold naturally while allowing myself the space to breathe. It’s not an easy thing to do when things feel so strained but I’m doing my best.

Following our passions and soul paths feels really difficult when modern society tries to force us to be cogs in the machine, if you know what I mean. I see so many that are tired and angry (rightfully so, all things considered) and I hope that we all come out of this stressful period stronger and are able to thrive more than just survive.

May you be treated how you’ve treated others.

See you next time!